Tooth Fairy Ain't Got Nothin on Me

They talked about it for weeks.
          Then they went out and actually bought the stuff.
                    They took another week to ponder the idea some more.
                              And then it happened.

They Brushed My Teeth.

They started with Zeus.  I think it's because his breath could be used as a weapon of war if there was a way to bottle it and spread it across an entire country.  One lick, and he can render mom and dad useless...they gag, they whine, they cry (ok, that's exaggerated a little. But they do beg him to stop).  It's sad, really, because that little Bean sure loves to lick his family. And his couch. And his toys, and his bed. And anyone that comes within tongue's reach.  Actually, knowing his demeanor...maybe he has already realized his breath is a weapon of war.  Good dog.

I also think they started with Zeus because he is an even bigger sucker for treats than me.  The toothpaste they used is chicken flavored.  The only thing we love more than peanut butter is chicken!  He played along the first time, let them brush his teeth - and his breath was tolerable for at least a day!  The second try was not quite as successful...

{Don't be fooled. He's actually wide awake. Just seconds before, he has been licking the toothpaste off the brush.  But, when mom tried to actually brush his teeth, he immediately laid his head back down and pretended to sleep until she left.  No joke.  He's inspirational.}

So, mom moved on to me.  I know she gives me pets, and I know she always tells me I'm a good dog.  But, when she puts her mind to doing something absolutely ridiculous, like brush my teeth, she turns into something completely different from herself.  Something evil.

{The tools of torture.  There is also a finger brush, but apparently mom doesn't feel comfortable putting her fingers directly in my mouth when she knows I'm upset. I can't understand why!}

{This was fine.  Some harmless chicken flavor on mom's fingers.  This, I can handle.}

{Ok. Weird, but not horrible. I don't mind licking the chicken flavor off of this brush, though I thought it was strange that mom didn't just keep letting me lick it off her finger.}

{ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!}

{And this is where I put myself until mom took the brush away.  I wish I knew how to fake sleep.}

Now my teeth are squeaky clean.  What's that the wolf said when his teeth were complimented?  

The better to eat you with, Zeus.